Rewilding
Connecting with nature, letting go of perfection, and witnessing the magic of the everyday
In a single tree, I see a Robin fly in and then two house finches land side-by-side on a separate branch. Next a Northern Flicker swoops in taking up more space than the other smaller birds showing just how magnificent she is.
We continue down the sidewalk, my baby and I, and I hear the call of the red wing blackbirds over the newly filled creek. Just when I think it can’t get more majestic I see my first glimpse of golden finches for the year. A streak of yellow in the air as the zoom by dancing through the air.
We arrive at my favorite spot. A small little pond nestled between two neighborhoods. This is where we see our friend, the muskrat, and all our favorite ducks. I even saw a new species of duck this year, a wood duck, which is now my favorite. And as we approach to the still waters of the pond fully filled from last night‘s rain, a mallard duck flies in and lands on the water creating ripples across the surface. Natures way of disturbing the peace. A few feet further, passed the ducks landing zone is a small waterfall creating a meditative noise as we walk past and continue on our walk.
In 30 minutes, I’ve witnessed more wild than I have in days. It’s like yesterday’s rains woke up the world around me. Like the rains washed off the old and rewild our neighborhood.
A Craving For Wild
The updated TV show, Wear Whatever the F* You Want, is a rewilding of its former show on TLC What Not To Wear. This new show feels healing. I watched countless hours of Stacy London and Clint tell people what they should wear. How they should look. And I took notes. I wanted to be in fashion and thought this was my education into that world. But I quickly became tired of making everything and everyone look the same. I quickly tired of the fast fashion and consumeristic notions of this world. But this new show, has changed with society. Our world is craving a rewilding. To let go of perfection, to embrace uniqueness, to care for ourself.
Another rewilding I’m seeing in the world comes in the waves of hair. Take Blake lively’s hair in the movie It Ends With Us. The only way I can describe it is wild even though I’m trying not to overuse that word here. In many ways it’s similar to the perm I got right before getting pregnant. An ode to letting go of perfection. It was my attempt at being care free and having an easy style of hair for when we traveled around Europe. In the end though, it made me feel like myself. I felt like a artist with that crazy, care-free hair.
Between remaking of shows, changing styles, and the natural world around me, I feel the craving for a life of wild more than ever. Maybe it’s because I’m home with a baby for so many hours a day/week. Or maybe, as a mother, I now deeply need to be closer to mother earth (even if that sounds super hippy dippy. I’m owning it).
Wild Instead of Perfect
I have felt a pressure all my life to be a certain way. To look a certain way, to behave a certain way, to perform a certain way. I am a 3 on the Enneagram (the achiever) and that might explain some of this. I’m also a woman in a patriarchal society, and that could explain a lot. I think that motherhood, with all its challenges, time limitations, laughs, and hugs has brought something out of me, it’s made me a little wild. I mean the process of giving birth itself is extremely wild. And that might have been ripping of the curtain between the old me and the new me. A tear between worlds as my child tore through me from one world to the next.
Since becoming a mom I care less about what people think of me. For some reason I’m not worried if others think I’m a good mom. I deeply want to be the crazy, fun, artist mom (with structure and boundaries of course, I’m not a monster!) I want to show my son this world through the magic of nature, witnessing light and color, building relationships, laughing until we can’t breath, and cuddling through the hard times, because you can’t avoid those. I feel more wild since becoming a mom. A little more free. If society is going to count me as invisible, I’m going to get into some mischief. I’ll be like the Invisible Friend in IF that is always tripping people.
I can’t give you a “5 steps to rewild your life” recipe. I mean, I could, but that feels so in-genuine and also, not really wild. What I can give you, is my experience and invite you to explore this idea on your own as you move through you day.
I have started going with my gut. I remember that play is just as important as work. I think about the kind of childhood I want my son to have but more importantly, the kind of motherhood I want to have and remember. I don’t want to be worried all the time. I don’t want to be working all the time. I want there to be curiosity and wonder, legos and paintbrushes, blocks and bikes. I want to get messy. To get our hands in dirt, to mess up the house and know that we can put it all back together again. More than anything, I want to remove perfect from my vocabulary. Nothing in nature is perfect, only perfectly imperfect, and therefore, I don’t want it.
A Story about “Wild” Strawberries
This last week we took a between nap adventure to a dear friend’s house who happens to have a large harvest of strawberries right now. Picking food from the ground is one of the most magical things I can think of and we did while in the rain.
My mother said to me “You must be a really good mom taking him to do all these things.” I thought, no, I’m doing this for me. I want to get out of the house, I want my hands in dirt, I want to smell petrichor (the smell after it rains). I’m so glad that he’ll get something out of this, but I too want to be allowed to be wild, to explore, and to feel that fresh pop of sweetness when you snack on a few of those “wild” strawberries. I want permission to be a kid while I raise a kid and to use his wonder and curiosity as a launching pad for my own.
To add to this, I captured some really fun photos of my son picking strawberries but later took more “Still life” photos of the strawberries so I could paint them. From these photos I utilized a wet on wet technique that allows the pigments to move and combine in a way that you have very little control. This style of painting really relinquishes perfection and instead offers up the beauty of natural chaos. I have to admit, I’m pretty in love with these wild strawberry paintings!
(The jury is still out on if these can be called “Wild” because they’re grown in a garden. But because they aren’t mass produced and have a very fun and silly shape, I consider them wild.)
It’s time to Rewild
I am a stay at home mom working on my small business, Modern Magic, during nap times. I am building a community of moms in my area. I’m encouraging women to be creative and to step into their divine feminine through my workshops and my writing. My story is my own. And how I choose to get a little wild will be specific to me too. But I know, that deep in all of us, is a craving to find the wild again. To let go of the lists and perfection and the rules (I’m all about breaking those rules). This is your invitation to explore that and see what it means for you.
How are you getting a little more wild?
My "purpose" is to "Be Wild" ... and "Do it Better Than the Boys" (a nod to resisting the status quo). I am incredibly fortunate to live in the Tetons, and I play outside every single day. The letting go of perfection, though, is my biggest challenge!